I’ve always been fascinated by social graces. My grandmother and I would pretend we were at church or a party, and she would teach me how to be graceful and polite.
As a painfully shy child, I would have preferred to hide behind my parents or grandparents, but my grandmother wanted me to be able to hold my own in social situations.
Role playing with her helped immensely. It was fun, as well. I’ve always been captivated by social graces. My grandmother and I would pretend we were at church or a party, and she would impart her wisdom on how to be graceful and polite.
As a painfully shy child, I would have preferred to hide behind my parents or grandparents, but my grandmother was determined to help me navigate social situations with confidence.

Introducing oneself
When you approach someone who isn’t engaged in a conversation, you can say something like, “Excuse me,” and then introduce yourself. Here are a few examples:
- “Hello, I’m Carrie. It’s wonderful to finally meet you.”
- “Hello, I’m Carrie Merth. I believe we have a mutual friend.”
- “Hello, I’m Carrie Merth. I wanted to come over and introduce myself and express my gratitude for inviting me.”
- “Hello. I’m Carrie Merth. I don’t think we’ve met before.”
The first time I did it, I was trembling with nerves.
My grandfather taught me a trick to calm my nerves. He said that in God’s eyes, we’re all equal, and everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time. It was both a comforting reminder and a humbling experience.
My grandfather taught me a trick to ease my nerves. He
Shaking hands is a crucial social gesture. I used to practice with my parents and grandparents to perfect my handshake. It should be firm yet gentle, avoiding any awkward motions. However, there are exceptions. For instance, I’ve had to be cautious with elderly individuals who may have brittle bones or those with large rings on their fingers.
One memorable incident occurred at church when a man gave me an extremely aggressive handshake. I had my new engagement ring on, and unfortunately, it cut my finger open in a small spot. Fortunately, I had a bandage in my purse to cover the wound. Another time, I had a man shake my hand that felt like shaking a fish. His grip was so tight that he seemed to be trying to break my hand, as if he didn’t want to touch me at all.
When shaking someone’s hand, do it firmly enough to make contact but not hard enough to break or crush their fingers or cause their rings to dig into a nearby finger.Even as a petite woman, I prefer a firm handshake. I have been known to remove larger rings before greeting someone.
If someone offers you their hand in an introduction, you should offer your hand as well. The rare exceptions are if you just sneezed or coughed into your hand, your hand is broken or healing, and if your hands are full. Offer them an elbow or the opposite hand. It might seem awkward, but it completes the social obligation.
I learned one exception: during COVID and during cold and flu season is a good time to keep ones hand to themselves. Keep your hands behind your back on to your side and bow, slightly, or nodding ones head slighly with direct eye contact. The final thing you can do beside shaking hands is to give a little side wave.
Introducing youself and a spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend.
The woman is introduced first. She holds a higher social status than a man.
"Sam, let me introduce to my wife, Carrie". The man should shake the women's hand first.
If you are both meeting new people for the first time,
"Hello. This is my wife, Carrie. I am Jay". And again the woman should shake hands first.
If you are introducing your husband to a friend:
"Barb, this is my husband, Jay. It is so nice to see you again."
Having everyday social grace is easy and tells the other person that you value them and their time, no matter how brief.
Have kids or grandkids at home? Role play with them so that the next time they interact with someone at church, at the store or at a party---they will know what to do. I did this with my son as part of his homeschool lessons. As a twenty-five year old now, I have been told over and over that people love him and that he is so polite. Five minutes of day is all it was required.
Everyday graces can lessen stress and social anxiety for all of us. A firm hand shake, a polite introduction and respect for others is not old fashioned or difficult to learn.
Thank you for your visit here at Real Life Home Ec. If you have a question or a thought on todays topic, please leave me a comment below. I hope to see you here tomorrow.
**My husband name above has been changed to protect his innocence
